Cyber Attact Reveals IJI's Secret Army
Post Washington Reporter
February 8, 2012
"We were planning on announcing our specialized security force eventually," said IJI spokesperson Anne Weltlich, of Merc.Jones, which is technically a subsidiary of Post sister-company Integrated Technologies. "We swear."
IJI claims the "security force" of 70,000 ex-military had been developed to assist "America's countless missions abroad," but don't dismiss the possibility they'll be used on U.S. soil.
"The Merc-dot-Jones force would only be used in American territory if contracted to do so by the U.S. government or in IJI-related security matters." said Weltlich.
Critics claim the secret army was created specifically to deal with "IJI-related security matters," which, in recent years, have included outbreaks of zombies, vampires and Super-AIDS, all of which IJI claims to have contained.
"The world's largest corporation now has an army bigger than Canada or Australia," thousands of people have posted on Facebook in the past week.
The Army of Truth, a group of disgruntled IJI employees-turned-saboteurs, posted what they claimed was an IJI attempt to throw America into an illegal war on the Post's website on January 22.
Within the "war-declaration-frontpage" was the first mention of military contractors Merc.Jones.
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IJI acknowledges that the contractors have been training at the Integrated Tech compound, which was formerly known as Hapsburg, Virginia, prior to IJI buying the township after an alleged industrial accident.The revelation adds weight to rumors that IJI bought Google just so it could remove Hapsburg from Google Maps.
